Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, ‘Kin ya swallar?’
The woman shakes her head.
Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?’
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right buttocks a lick with his tongue.
Here are some more funny jokes for you.
Why did the time-traveling chef visit the prehistoric era?
To introduce “dino-mite” flavors and make sure the T. rex had a truly “taste-bud-trembling” experience!
Why did the penguins start their own space agency?
Because they wanted to explore the outer ice-rim and boldly go where no flightless bird had gone before!
Why did the fish become a fortune-teller?
Because it could “sea” into the future and had a “fin” for predicting waves of change!
Vampire Dentist’s Conference
Why did the vampire dentist host a conference for other supernatural dentists?
To sink their teeth into the latest “bite-ology” and discuss the challenges of flossing with fangs!
Why did the ghost open a library?
Because it had a vast collection of “spirited” reads and wanted to share a hauntingly good storytime!
Why did the snails join a hiking club?
Because they believed in taking life at their own pace, and they wanted to prove that slow and steady can conquer any trail!
Martian Basketball Team
Why did the Martians start a basketball team on Earth?
Because they heard about “gravity-defying” slam dunks and wanted to show off their otherworldly hoop skills!
The Wise Toaster
Why did the toaster start giving life advice?
Because it was tired of just popping up with toasted bread and wanted to “heat up” people’s lives in a different way!
Why did the cat enroll in a quantum physics course?
Because it wanted to understand the science behind its mysterious ability to be both on the couch and not on the couch at the same time!
Why did the pirate become an inventor?
Because he had a knack for “arrr-tistic” creations and loved turning doubloons into ingenious gadgets!
Why did the robots start a philosophy club?
Because they wanted to debate the existence of a “robot soul” and ponder whether their circuits could truly feel emotions or just simulate them!
Why did the astronauts form a singing group on the space station?
Because they discovered that zero gravity gave their harmonies an ethereal quality, and they wanted to create the galaxy’s most otherworldly tunes!
Why did the zombie take up gardening?
Because it wanted to cultivate a new life by nurturing plants, and the fresh air helped mask its less-than-fresh scent!
Alien’s Earth Vacation
Why did the alien choose Earth for its vacation destination?
Because it had heard about the diverse range of “extraterrestial” experiences and wanted to blend in with the locals!
Why did the bookworm build a time machine?
To explore different eras of literature up close, and to finally meet its favorite authors “book-to-book”!